Friday, April 22, 2011

Grid Repair-Part II

David writes...

We here at the Hicks Car Works recieved a few questions about the grid repair Frank and I effectuated last Saturday. In particular, the questions centered on whether the introduction of a bolt and washer assembly would change the resistance properties of the grid elements.

The short answer is no. In fact, the introduction of the bolt and washer is an improvement, because for a number of years now, work has been proceeding to bring perfection to the crudely conceived idea of a grid element that would not only supply inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal grammeters. Such a grid element is the "turbo-encabulator." Basically, the only new principle involved is that instead of power being generated by the relative motion of conductors and fluxes, it is produced by the medial interaction of magneto-reluctance and capacitive directance.

The original grid elements, as installed by the CA&E, had a base plate of prefabulated amulite, surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings were in direct line with the pentametric fan. The latter consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzelvanes, so fitted to the ambifacient lunar waneshaft that side fumbline was effectively prevented. The main winding was of the normal lotus-0-delta type placed in panendermic semiboiloid slots in the stator, every seventh conductor being connected by a nonreversible tremie pipe to the differential gridlespring on the "up" end of the grammeters.

Forty-one manestically spaced grouting brushes were arranged to feed into the rotor slipstream a mixture of high S-value phenylhydrobenzamine and 5% remanative tetryliodohexamine. Both of these liquids have specific pericosities given by P=2.5Cn6.7 where n is the diathetical evolute of retrograde temperature phase disposition and C is Chlomondeley's annular grillage coefficient. Initially, n was measured with the aid of metaploar refractive pilfrometer (for a description of this ingenious instrument, see Reference 1), but up to the present, nothing has been found to equal the transcendental hopper dadoscope (2).

Electrical engineers will appreciate the difficulty of nubing together a regurgitative purwell and a supramitive wennelsprock. Indeed, this proved to be a stumbling block to further development until, in 1942, it was found that the use of anhydrous nangling pins enabled a kryptonastic boiling shim to the tankered.

The early attempts to construct a sufficiently robust spiral decommutator failed largely because of a lack of appreciation of the large quasi-piestic stresses in the gremlin studs; the latter were specially designed to hold the roffit bars to the spamshaft. When, however, it was discovered that wending could be prevented by a simple addition to the living sockets, almost perfect running was secured.

The operating point is maintained as near as possible to the h.f. rem peak by constantly fromaging the bitumogenous spandrels. This is a distinct advance on the standard nivel-sheave in that no dramcock oil is required after the phase detractors have been remissed.

Undoubtedly, the turbo-encabulator has now reached a very high level of technical development. It has been successfully used for operating nofer trunnions. In addition, whenever a barescent skor motion is required, it may be employed in conjunction with a drawn reciprocating dingle arm to reduce sinusoidal depleneration. therefore, we expect no problems with the grid elements from the introduction of the bolt and washer assembly.

See, that was clear!

Editor's Update: Rockwell furthered this research for the automatic transmission. A video explaining it all is here: http://youtu.be/2fjcJp_Nwvk

Also in the 1970s Chrysler also experimented with this rare technology:

References:
-Rumpelvestein, L.E., Z. Elektro-technistatisch-Donnerblitz vii.
-Oriceddubg of the Peruvian Academy of Skatological Sciences, June 1914.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

You mentioned "h.f. rem" - - was that high frequency rapid eye movement when you were asleep and DREAMING this up? And what about the special tools needed to make the repair? Were you able to find a left handed readysnitch? And will this repair hold up without the expected display of spitzensparken?

I suspect you did not write this up as original material but 'play'-garized most of it from your class notes at college.

Bob Kutella

Randall Hicks said...

Kids these days -- I just don't know. Turn your back for a couple hours and look what happens!

David Wilkins said...

Oh what? You can write an article talking about Nick's appointment to the Supreme Court, but this is wrong?

Randall Hicks said...

I was joking, as were you. You know that.

Anonymous said...

What kind of cheese did you use for the frommaging noted in your seventh paragraph?

Edward J. Maurath